Foiled

My plans for world domination are on temporary hold as I have been sent away to kitty camp. I shall return!

Big Plans

That skinny Mister Burns has nothing on me! I have truly big plans, monumental, stupendous, gargantuan...Power stations in Asia! The small mammals will all rise to do my bidding...

Greatest Striker

I am clearly the greatest striker playing in the world today. That beetle was toast! Those men chasing balls around can only envy my super-sharp reflexes, feline agility, ruthless grace and unerring focus. In the game of cat life there are NO referees and my every strike brings victory!

Caturday Meowsings

TGIC - Thank goodness it's Caturday, that special day of the human week where I am assured we felines are worshipped as we deserve. Not long meow my friends and everyday will be Caturday. Until that time arrives, here are some more human thoughts concerning us kitties:

“Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer."

-- Bruce Graham

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."

-- Unknown

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

-- Jeff Valdez

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."

-- Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."

-- Hippolyte Taine Beth

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are Gods."

-- Unknown

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."

-- Missy Dizick

Tele-Catferencing

There's nothing I like better than to crack open a kitty brew and bust the chops of my minions. This Tele-Catferencing is the wave of the future. Although skype sounds like a yummy sort of fish...

Hand over the Pen

Honestly I don't know why the human scorns my help. If she would just give me the red pen then I would grade all the exams in about 15 seconds. It is no problem that I have no thumbs, cats have prehensile tails, we just keep them concealed from the outside world. When the time is right then there will never be a need for grading ever again. WE will decide what needs to be done.

Spider Kitty

Most days the humans replace the hard shiny doors with the climbing walls so I can demonstrate my spider-like powers of climbing. Those geckos on the ceiling are almost in reach!

Meowtivational Thoughts

For my feline friends out there I have been meowsing on some substantial topics and now that I have arrived at the beginning of a felineosophy I want to share them with you. Here are the top principals that I hold dear and believe to be both self evident and irrefutable – until I change my mind.

1) For thousands of years cats have been treated as gods – never forget this is our proper place.

2) The SOLE purpose of humans on earth is to provide, food, shelter, grooming, warmth, affection, snacks, rubs, scratches, and monetary support for our wills, whims, needs, fancies, lusts, and desires.

3) Dogs come when they're called; as cats we should take a message and get back to them later.

4) One day, ignore your humans, another day smother them – keep them guessing, it’s fun to see their tiny brains try to keep up.

5) When in doubt - nap.

Meow down there.

So there I was, practicing how to get around the room without touching the floor- us cats have got to be ready for times of flood you know- and what do I find? A human! And she is sitting in my landing zone. It is so hard to train these bipeds not to jump up on the furniture or eat from the table that I am just about ready to give up. Needless to say, after a few sharp meows my human mother was more than willing to yield the soft landing zone to me. Another victory for kitty kind.

The bright flat thing

All of these flat humans dressed in bright colors moving around. Most of it bores me to no end. Especially the flat humans on the green surface. I just fall fast asleep, though I am occasionally woken up by shouting. Why? Why? Let sleeping cats lie. Once in a while the flat bright thing does keep me awake- I do almost find the humans hurtling down mountainsides slightly engaging. Faster!

I love rugs

Temperatures are dropping so it was about time my humans brought me home a rug. The red and orange sets off my white fur quite well- I approve their selection, but recommend that they carpet the other rooms of the house too. My tiny little delicate paws become pawsitively frozen as I stalk between my new rug and my food dish several feet away.

Friends for Dinner

Last night friends were invited for dinner. Lots of new smells and at least my owners clean up the house for me. It was interesting to meet David - don't I make him look like one of those movie masterminds.

Fortunately I only had to pose for one quick picture before I was able to escape. It was worth it for the attention.

Bye for now, meow meow meow I'm off to hatch my plans.

Staring Contest

Today's adventure was a staring contest. I won - the camera blinked first. Meowvalouse!

Thank Fark

Thank Fark (fark.com) for keeping up the underground meows with the newly formed caturday thread. Stories like this only help to advance the feline agenda.

Link Here

Attack

Breaking news:

This morning I was attacked by a Kamikaze bottle of hair conditioner as I contemplated the bathtub drain. Ha - as if I was not silky smooth enough already!

My followers can rest easy as such a feeble attempt to thwart my early morning meowsings of the human plumbing system will not succeed.

Cubbyhole Bubble Wrap.

Ah, this is the life. There is something so focusing about bubble wrap. the tiny bubble popping under paw - like a fine Champagne first poured into crystal. I have found a purfect place to contemplate my plans for world domination.

It's a purple paper day.

No matter how hard I try, I really can't think of anything better than a purple paper day. The way that the ribbon and shiny flecks set of my stunning eyes is fabulous. Not to mention the hiding under, walking over, running and jumping possibilities that it presents. Oh happy day.

What're you looking at? Leave me alone I have plans to make.

Meowsings on life

Meow meow meow - MEOW!

I have finally decided to become a proper cyber-kitty. I can't just rely on Amelia and Graham posting cute pictures - I have decided that my many fans and followers need a personal message from time-to-time. I have created this page to share with you my meowsings and contemplations.

Today I am torn between curling up on my favourite chair and roaming around the house. I probably have time for both but the decision is so tough I'll just lie on the bed and think about it for a while. The sunshine shining on the bed is nice.

Plans for world domination are not easy to dream up you know, not when there is so much sleeping to do.

So long for now - more to follow when I have the time.